I have so completely lost my focus, my discipline, and my motivation. I still have the desire, that never goes away, but I am seriously struggling to push myself to actually push hard, to challenge myself. I’m tired, I’m hungry, whatever, it is sooo hard to actually dig and push when I’m hungry. I feel like such a wuss. When I was at the last facility, pushing myself when I was hungry drove me to push harder. Now every muscle in my body feels weak and tired, and mentally, … just forget about it. I suppose I could try doing light workouts to gain some momentum and then build on that success. But at the same time, when I do that it doesn’t give me the drive to keep going the next day. I think it was the feeling of progress that kept driving me forward. Now I don’t even know what to do beyond squats and pushups, my creativity has left along with my motivation.

Not only that but I am sitting more and more too. The chairs at this new facility aren’t nearly as uncomfortable as the previous ones, so I don’t have the pain and discomfort from sitting for extended periods that I did too remind me – and encourage me – to get up and move more regularly. Because of this my back is taking a turn for the worse. I’m sure not being able to get my back worked on is part of the problem as well, but I think even if I were getting my back therapy, it would still be deteriorating from the extended sitting.

I think the point I’m making is the point I’m always making: Never stop. It gets harder and harder to start, and at this age you just lose your progress so quickly. Because you do lose it so quickly, you are much more susceptible to injury when you start back up.

5/14/2019 Tuesday

Just tried pushing myself a little harder, and I did, but man my left elbow didn’t like it. I didn’t even do regular pushups. I have no choice but to start slow, it’s like starting over again. Starting at the very beginning. This sucks!

12:35 – Torso Twists, standing & on all fours;

• Superman x 35 seconds;
• Knee Pushups x 15; lousy form, elbow really bothering me
• Chair Dips x 50; very short ROM, just figured out how to raise the arm height tho!

I think my approach is going to be to focus on building up the smaller muscles and strengthening the joints before pushing with the bigger muscles.

12:45 – Lunch – Hot Link and broccoli/carrots/onions

5/16/2019 Thursday

I did do a tiny bit of stuff yesterday, mobility drills mostly, did 6 stories on the stairs once, did a couple of sets of Chair dips. It’s even hard to motivate myself to document the training I am doing. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just not feeling it or because I am doing so little that it feels like what’s the point? I’m pretty sure that some if has to do with my coworkers being so close and the environment being so open, that I don’t want them to hear me tapping away at the keyboard. I really need to keep in mind however that it is important to do it, because my results aren’t from doing anything spectacular, merely doing something with obsessive consistency – even if it is just a tiny something.

So I have my Preworkout in hand, and I am gearing up to take an actual 15 minute break and move.

Yesterday one of the guys sent out the text that it is time to start thinking about our fall backpacking trip and to get something on the books. I think I am going to do some more targeted training to get this done. Not sure exactly what just yet, but rest assured I’ll come up with something. I’m thinking lunges, stairs, jumping… I don’t have the stamina of the other guys, and I’m not that strong, I’m a sprinter. I have to figure out how to work that to my advantage. Maybe I need to adjust my approach on the trail as well. Rather than trying to keep pace, fall behind and catch up. Maybe take the lead and then slow down or stop and rest. IDK, I’ll think on it.

So I think my next two research topics are going to be training for backpack hiking and how to handle distances as a sprinter type athlete.

11:00 – Stairs, down 7 Floors

• Pushups x 40; Narrow Hands, Excellent form, made it to 30 nonstop before having to catch my breath, had to push on 30 – 40; probably would have failed at 45l;
• Ramp in Parking garage; walked up and down the ramp between levels many times, ran up a couple of times, ran down a couple of times, power walked up most of the times, walked up and down backwards once’
• Pushups x 40; Wide grip, Excellent form, may have failed before 45 if I could breathe enough to keep going,
• Stairs, up 5 Floors

These were all done back to back with no rest, and I didn’t listen to any pump me up music or motivational before starting!

11:40 – Lunch: Piece of beef jerky, 2 cherries, a hunk of smoked pork shoulder. I didn’t come prepared to be so motivated today. I was even thinking about fasting this morning before work.

I am going to start being more diligent about logging my food intake. This has been a big part of my journey. The little 2 minute and 15 minute movements aren’t the prime reason I am in good shape, my food choices are.

12:50 – walk outside (90° outside, ozone alert day, I think the hole in the ozone layer is directly above us), about 2000 steps

5/17/2019 Friday

Lat night for dinner I had ham and shredded purple cabbage cooked in tallow with onions, garlic, mushrooms and black pepper; and 2 bourbon and cokes

12:15 – Yoga Pushups x 100; great form, wide hands, a little lower down my body than normal, last 10 were slow, feel super pumped

• Chair Dips x 10; Arm rests at highest position, triceps are wasted.

Have a Great Day!

Lubimûr